I have always been fascinated by sea horses. I observed the creatures in captivity when I visited the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center. They are beautiful, peaceful tiny beings. The male sea horses are faced with challenges the females cannot pretend to understand, yet the females hold all the cards. The male sea horses carry children and undergo childbirth. Females are part of the equation, but cannot fully comprehend the changes that take place inside the male’s mind and body during pregnancy. She has no idea what it means to bear children. She can love that little munchkin with all her heart, and raise him with help from the father, but the male completes the task. She may “wear the pants” in their relationship, but she is completely in the dark. He endures the process, and she has another mouth to feed. Times are tough! Relationships are complicated, but the male sea horse has no power over the female. She is the “stronger sex.”
The male sea horse has no choice. If he did, he may go through with it and his family would grow. What if he has a rockin’ body and no intention of filling his belly? A career on hold, complications, limited resources, no support system, a “No. means No!” situation?
I wonder how the female would handle these predicaments if the roles were reversed.
Women with mental illness and/or physical handicaps sometimes have more difficult pregnancies than undiagnosed females. There are issues such as upsets with medications, painful body aches due to the rearranging of internal organs, and extreme changes in mood. Sometimes women fall into dark places, and often do not resurface. Many women have complications due to intangible issues. It must be an enormous life change to bring another human into the world. Women with severe mental illnesses are often at risk of losing their own lives in order to add another child to a crumbling earth. Should these women lose their bodies and minds in order to follow protocol? Can the female sea horses understand?
–SJB