There is peace beyond the storm. It hides, and waits. Exiting a tornado of emotions, it is easy to feel alone. Time heals the wounds, but never erases them. Take comfort in the reality that you are never truly alone. You are your own best friend, but sometimes, revealing your heart to others can be rewarding. Good things come to those who wait.
Facing the terror that rises in your throat, survey your surroundings. Where are you? Finding yourself can be a daunting task. Discovering that you are not struggling alone will force the peace out of hiding. It is comforting to find a group of people who share your difficulties. In my experience, those are the best friends I have ever known.
Committed to a psychiatric hospital was a living nightmare, but healing together under the same roof brought people who “got” me. They understood. We had the same dreams, the same delusions. We couldn’t sleep. We touched each other’s lives in ways no one else ever could. These relationships were short, in the span of “regular” time, but these people will live on in my soul for the rest of my life.
We didn’t have to keep secrets or pretend to be “normal.” We could be vulnerable together. Though we were in a prison, in that aspect, we were free.
A woman I called “Cinderella” leapt from a moving car. We enjoyed breaking out the crayons and coloring together every day. Our conversations were precious.
I ate lunch with a supervisor every day, because I misbehaved in the cafeteria. We became good friends.
A boy I called “Robin,” deduced that we shared pieces of schizophrenia, before anyone else figured that out.
A man called himself “Prince Jesus.” He was a great friend. I told him that if he would stop telling everyone he believed he was Jesus, they would let him out. It’s never that easy.
When I was released from the hospital, I joined a clubhouse where I was surrounded by people with similar traits. We had free lunch, assigned chores, and drank a lot of sweet tea. Many friendships blossomed there. I met my best friend, E.G. We always shared the “secretary chore,” and prayed together in-between calls, notes and other activities. He became a member of my church!
When the tides pulled me under, these people dragged me out and brought me back to myself. I will be ever grateful to them and cherish the friendships I shared with all. Good things come to those who wait, and though I waited many days alone in a hospital, I spent more days in the company of amazing people I will never forget.
–SJB