A familiar face crosses your path. You have no desire to strike up a conversation, so you greet your neighbor with a rhetorical question.
“Hi! How are you?”
Your acquaintance responds in turn.
“Good! How are you?”
“Good!”
Then you both resume your separate agendas. Why? What is the point of this shallow greeting? Does “Hi!” not serve this purpose anymore? We plaster fake smiles across our facades like masks. We don’t mind if someone is not “Good!” Many people breeze through this encounter so quickly that it has become habit; it is an extension of “Hello.” We don’t ask, “How are you, really?”
On occasion, we are elated! Seeking praise for accomplishing a daunting task will ensue a string of words you weren’t expecting when you asked the question. If you weren’t prepared for a response, you should have left it at “Hi!” and continued on your way. This might become a lengthly conversation.
Sometimes, we don’t feel “good.” I think many believe it isn’t okay to not be okay. It is. Everyone has a bad day or two, some worse than others. When quicksand has gathered at your feet and is slowly pulling you under, it is difficult to keep your head above ground. Dread swallows you when your library books are overdue and you haven’t the motivation to return them. You can barely rise from bed, feet reluctant to touch the floor. A shower is out of the question, and you don’t remember the last time you washed your hair. If you have the energy for a walk, you are sure to meet a neighbor who will ask, “How are you?” It is almost impossible to lift your face into a smile.
My therapist informed me that not being “in the mood” is not laziness or procrastination. With a mood disorder, there are times when a person is not in the mood to face life’s challenges, no matter how small. As a result, I have not written a blog in two weeks.
Writing and illustrating are the key ingredients in my recipe for happiness. Sometimes I forget how important my creativity is to my wellbeing. When I return to a project, I disappear into a world of color and magic I cannot find elsewhere. I recommend adding some form of artistic outlet to your life. It helps to keep the peace in body and mind. I am lost without my sketchbook.
How am I? Good!
How am I, really? Healing. Generally happy.
How are you?
How are you, really?
–SJB