I am not currently depressed, but that’s because I am heavily medicated. I know that more than a handful of people are feeling anxious and depressed right now. It’s hard to stay indoors for days, fearful of a deadly virus which, in all actuality, is not completely gone. We are going about our daily lives trying to pick up the pieces where we left off, but there is a new normal and I believe we are celebrating too soon. This is negative thinking, but when you are depressed everything is stressful, including the state of the country and the fate of human kind.
I have an emotional support dog named Logan. He likes to ride on my shoulder all the time. When we ride in the car he snuggles in tight behind my neck, as I am his human seatbelt. He used to be much smaller, but now weighs a little under ten pounds. Carrying him is a bit more challenging but not impossible. Every case of depression is different, but when I am depressed I barely have the energy to talk, laugh or smile. I am physically and emotionally drained. I carry the burden of depression on my shoulders like baggage weighing much more than the weight of my dog.
When I am suffering through this mood, I want nothing more than to lie down and distract myself with a tv show or a really good book. I recommend medication because it has changed my life, but it is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Depression has a sneaky way of entering your mind. It is much easier to give in, give up, and feel defeated. Taking care of ourselves and processing these feelings leads to healing. It is important to note that depression is not your fault, you are not alone, and you are not lazy. It is okay to take a break and take a breath. This too shall pass. I learned recently that my feelings of “laziness” and “dread” are part of my mood disorder. I am not lazy. I am literally not in the mood. We must fight to accomplish tasks that need to be done, like getting out of bed, stepping outside, and encouraging the sun to help lift this mood. This depression will not last forever and delightful, invigorating, fantastic happy moments are on the horizon. There is life worth living!
—SJB