My name is Samantha Buice. My middle name is Jane. As you may have deduced, the story I recently published is a tale of my own experience with mental illness. I hope you won’t think that I am trying to hide behind a pen name. I am not ashamed of my mental illness anymore—as I was in the earlier stages of my battle. I understand; however, the temptation to bury the truth of your mental illness and try to live a “normal” life, hoping that no one will uncover your secret.
Honestly, the greatest sense of relief that I have ever experienced–to this day–was discovering that the way I was behaving and feeling was due to something real; something without my control; something I could treat, even if it could not be cured. The realization that I was not (am not) alone washed over me like a mighty force of wind, a rush of cold white water. It was a feeling of being found, if not saved. I am blessed with a supportive family and close friends who share my “secret,” so I have never really been alone, though some moments felt that way.
I would hate to convey that your mental illness should be kept a secret. There is nothing “wrong” with anyone, really. We are all doing the best we can with the cards we have been dealt. For a long time, I tried extremely hard to act “normal” so that others would not judge me. I felt I had power over the rest of the world because I knew something the people around me did not, and that power was something I held onto for some time. The problem with keeping it secret is that so many of the population are dealing with this issue, and most people are not talking about it, as if this illness does not qualify as “real.” There is a stigma attached to it, one that scares us because society deems us “crazy.” No one wants to be labeled.
Today, this week, and for the rest of your life, remember that you are not alone, and that today we need to join the conversation.
We must stand together and be strong. A breeze may blow out a candle, but a fire grows stronger when you fan the flames.
—SJB
I invite book reviews, concerns, and questions!