It is clear that in this time of great fear and anxiety, we are suffering loss. Many people have lost jobs. Many people have lost lives. Many others have suffered the loss of loved ones. Due to this pandemic and all of the ways we are supposed to protect ourselves from each other, the greatest loss we have all suffered is the physical and emotional loss of contact with the ones we love. It is devastating. It is depressing. It is a broken time in our history, and we know not when it will end. This is scary.
We do not know when this will end. It could be months. It could be years. I don’t know about you, but I am going to be seriously upset if this pandemic ruins Christmas.
This illness is invisible, much like mental illness. Society is certainly treating it that way. Some people are taking measures to protect themselves and others. Others are not. Some of us are displaying the extent of selfish nature in the human race. Others are doing great things and helping people in every way possible. Actions like these are the reason we cannot generalize groups of people for the actions of a few.
We all handle grief in our own ways.
Right now, I am feeling grateful for every good part of my life. I am staying in the now and trying to avoid the news at all costs. It only upsets me. But it is impossible to close my eyes and imagine that this is not real.
At first, it seemed like a nightmare. I would wake up any second, be pinched and come back to a reality where everything was really okay.
There was a time in my life where I was surrounded by so much darkness that I no longer recognized my parents. I cannot describe the gratitude I feel for coming out of that coma-like daze.
For a while, I was starving. I forgot how to eat. Literally. Silverware (made of plastic) placed on my right, food in front of me, having no idea how they related to one another.
My mom made her famous homemade bread, and I ate that until I started to fill out again. The illustration above is my mom carrying her bread all the way to me in my tiny hospital room. I was committed, and she was committed to me.
I am so glad to be on the other side of that darkness. Now is the time to recognize the good things in our lives so that they can overshadow the bad ones.
I know in my heart that if I could make it through all of that, we can make it through this. God has a plan and we just have to wait and see how it unfolds.
—SJB