When someone asks, “Are you alright?” it’s a question. It expresses concern; it is meant to be comforting, yet alright for some is not alright for everyone. Reassuring someone else that a difficult situation is alright is based on their own state of mind. Alright is subjective. This may not be the case for the other person. Maybe it’s a hot day; you aren’t spending it the way you would like, and you are frustrated. Perhaps you are upset and alright is not the sentiment you are ready to feel. Alright is not the word for this occasion.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder at the age of sixteen. My life was a mess. I was dealing with ups and downs. In the beginning, I was not always aware of a manic episode, and my mom usually sensed it before I did. It infuriated me. I wanted to be in control of my body, but for years I needed help. To this day, I appreciate all of the love and support from my family; but I acknowledge that everything was not alright, not all the time.
Mom could sense the difference in my voice, my appetite, my energy level. She would ask, “Are you alright?” “Are you okay?” “Have you taken your meds?” When she checked in with me that way, I became irate. It was hard to accept the support she was trying to impart, because it seemed she could read my book without cracking the spine. I wanted to know my body better than anyone else could, catch these signs and understand their meaning in a timely fashion. The sooner you catch mania, the better. Many years later, I am not always alright; but I have made it so far. I have not passed the point where alright is a feeling which can be was forced upon me, even from friends. Feelings are fickle that way. My mom was always there for me, and it took quite a while for me to appreciate her efforts.
Now, I recognize the question, “Are you alright?” as a sign of concern. I do not welcome the assumption that everything is alright only because it is alright for someone else. We all have to feel our emotions as they trickle through our minds; only we can convince ourselves that we are alright.
Today, I feel alright. Thanks for asking.
–SJB